I'm Looking Through You...

Tales from the Cutting Counter: A thirty-something-ish couple walks up to the cutting counter. She tells me they want to make a curtain, and shows me her measurements. Could I help with the fabric selection, she asks? Sure, I say. Do you want sheers? or something opaque? I want fabric for a curtain, she says, looking at me like I am a total moron. I know, I say, but what function does the curtain need to perform? I need to know if we should be considering opaque fabric or sheer. O-what? she says, looking totally flummoxed. OPAQUE, i e-nun-ci-ate. What's that? she says. Not see-through, I said. As opposed to sheers. They make scissors just for that? she asks. I don't know what happened next; I spontaneously combusted.

Maybe she was from DC?

Tales from the Cutting Counter: I was putting a bolt of fabric back on the shelf today, and saw a customer at the end of the aisle. She was about my age, short, dressed in a purple velour jacket and pants, and had dyed-black long hair pulled back with a sparkly, glittery purple doo-dad. Her makeup was bold and perfectly applied. As I approached her, I smiled and said, "Hi!" She looked at me, sighed, shook her head slowly and said, "Don't I wish."

Size, and other matters.

Tales from the cutting counter:  Yesterday was busy, and I was multi-tasking most of the day.  I was answering questions, giving directions, and cutting fabric all at once, flat out busy.  A petite woman comes up to me and asks, "There's a pattern on the wall and it only comes in tall, eight-one-eight.  Do you have it in any other size?"  She gives me the pattern number.  Now, keep in mind that we have thousands of patterns, grouped by manufacturer and then filed by pattern number.  There's no way I can know this off the top of my head.  What I *do* know, though, is that there are no tall patterns in any of the pattern lines we carry. And the "eight-one-eight" has me flummoxed. I'm more than a little confused.  "What line is the pattern?"  I ask.  The woman doesn't know, so she goes back to the pattern wall and grabs the pattern in question.  I look at the cover.  "Ma'am," says me, pointing at the printing in the corner of the pattern cover,  "that doesn't say 'tall,'  it says 'taille,' which means "size" in French.  This pattern has a size range from 8-18."

A Tale of Two

Tales from the Cutting Counter: Two interesting customers today. One woman, well into her 80's, bought several 1-yard cuts of cotton. She confided--almost conspiratorially--that she buys baby dolls at a discount store, makes a blanket, pillow and matching dress for each one, and sends them to hospitals in Ohio, where a friend is an administrator. Last year, she shipped 500 dolls. "You've gotta do something to stay busy!" she told me. A young woman with long dark hair and freckles, asked for 5 yards of extra-wide white tulle, like you might use for a bridal veil. I asked her what she was making. She giggled, and said, "a dress." As our conversation continued, I learned that she was not local, but came into town frequently "for appointments and things". She then asked for apparel trim with "dangly beads or fringe." It became apparent that this young woman was working either private parties or at a gentleman's club, and was doing her best to preserve her anonymity while doing so. She was very nice, and thanked me for the help I gave her. Because, I guess, "you've gotta do SOMETHING to stay busy."

Measure Twice, Cut Once

Tales from the Cutting Counter: I worked the opening shift this morning. The very first customer comes up to the cutting counter hauling a massive bolt of upholstery-weight navy blue canvas. "We have a problem," she says, in that tone that means "I'm spoiling for a fight." "I ordered 18 yards of this fabric, and there are only 10 yards on the roll. The girl (author's note: please, call us "women," not girls, unless we are male, and then you can say "man") who brought this out for me said that she didn't have to measure it since it came direct from the manufacturer." (Author's second note: this is true. If it's a factory-direct order, we just act as the middle man. If the fabric comes from our warehouse, we measure, just in case.) The customer was obviously ready to draw and quarter the sales clerk who didn't measure. To my rather experienced eye, it was pretty obvious that there was more than 10 yards on the roll. But of course, we remeasured the goods. This was not an easy task. Very heavy fabric is stronger than you think, and fights back. But we managed to get it through the upholstery measuring machine, and sure enough, there are 18 lovely navy blue yards of fabric. "There are 18 yards here." "No there aren't, I measured it myself." And the customer, with a bit of a flourish, produces a well-worn tape measure from the depths of her handbag. The light bulb went on over my head, and some quick arithmetic confirmed my suspicions. "Is that a 60-inch tape measure?" I asked. She looked at it. She looked at me. "Oh." she said. "Have a great day!" I said, handing the roll of fabric back to her.