Tales from the Cutting Counter: I
worked the opening shift this morning. The very first customer comes
up to the cutting counter hauling a massive bolt of upholstery-weight
navy blue canvas. "We have a problem," she says, in that
tone that means "I'm spoiling for a fight." "I ordered
18 yards of this fabric, and there are only 10 yards on the roll. The
girl (author's note: please, call us "women," not girls,
unless we are male, and then you can say "man") who brought
this out for me said that she didn't have to measure it since it came
direct from the manufacturer." (Author's second note: this is
true. If it's a factory-direct order, we just act as the middle man.
If the fabric comes from our warehouse, we measure, just in case.)
The customer was obviously ready to draw and quarter the sales clerk
who didn't measure. To my rather experienced eye, it was pretty
obvious that there was more than 10 yards on the roll. But of course,
we remeasured the goods. This was not an easy task. Very heavy fabric
is stronger than you think, and fights back. But we managed to get it
through the upholstery measuring machine, and sure enough, there are
18 lovely navy blue yards of fabric. "There are 18 yards here."
"No there aren't, I measured it myself." And the customer,
with a bit of a flourish, produces a well-worn tape measure from the
depths of her handbag. The light bulb went on over my head, and some
quick arithmetic confirmed my suspicions. "Is that a 60-inch
tape measure?" I asked. She looked at it. She looked at me.
"Oh." she said. "Have a great day!" I said,
handing the roll of fabric back to her.
