Tales from the Cutting Counter: A thirty-something-ish couple walks up to the cutting counter. She tells me they want to make a curtain, and shows me her measurements. Could I help with the fabric selection, she asks? Sure, I say. Do you want sheers? or something opaque? I want fabric for a curtain, she says, looking at me like I am a total moron. I know, I say, but what function does the curtain need to perform? I need to know if we should be considering opaque fabric or sheer. O-what? she says, looking totally flummoxed. OPAQUE, i e-nun-ci-ate. What's that? she says. Not see-through, I said. As opposed to sheers. They make scissors just for that? she asks. I don't know what happened next; I spontaneously combusted.